When we offer help, it’s crucial to differentiate between being empathetic and over-helping:
- - An empathetic person believes in and trusts the abilities of others. They observe what individuals need to resolve their conflicts and provide the tools necessary for them to achieve their goals.
- - An over-helper, in contrast, does not empower individuals to find solutions on their own. Instead, they take on the responsibility of resolving issues themselves, frequently imposing additional limitations without awareness of the consequences.
An illustrative example is the story of a man who discovers a cocoon and watches as a butterfly struggles to break free through a small opening. Impatiently, he enlarges the hole to ease the butterfly's emergence. Unbeknownst to him, this action prevents the butterfly from developing the strength needed for flight, which is gained through the struggle of passing through the tiny opening.
How many holes have we created to make life easier for our children?
Parents often wish to shield their children from disappointments, frustrations, difficulties, and conflicts.
But consider what adults would be like if, as children:
- - They never faced any problems.
- - They received constant praise and compliments for everything they did.
- - They played all day without having to exert effort to obtain what they desired.
- - Everything was easy and entertaining for them.
